Missing Us, Missing You

I still can’t believe it’s been three months almost to the day – I’m sure the vibe was in the air and the thoughts were in your mind.  Just over 2 months since we combined all of our belongings and came together in a place we called home.  

The Christmas cold aches at my body even more this year, shopping is not quite as cheery and food just doesn’t taste quite as good.  I pray for the day when I feel whole again, when I feel like me and missing you doesn’t hurt.  I’ve had the days where you make me smile, thoughts of you linger warm in my heart.  I have the mornings and nights when I cry, wishing all I could do is call you, hear you, hold you, feel you.  

You fell out of love with me, or so you told me that night.  In denial, I had to hear it again.  The discussion was the same and I wailed for change.  The moment did not come and I should cease for the wish but my life is such like a movie at times, I’m hoping for the day you’ll coming running back one more time. 

In time we will change, in time, we’ve changed, hoping to change the past does not change anything.  I love you still and hope you have fond memories of me.  In my heart you will stay but in time the strength of my love will fade.  Wishing you the best of success and love.  I’d like to run into you one day, feeling comfortable.  We left each other on a good note, I’d like to think of you as a friend.  You were my lover, my love, my friend, you always felt like home to me.  

I would like to wake up with new feelings, understand that you want to move on and I need to as well.  Baby steps as a reminder, but soon that leads to toddling and walking on my own.  I want so many things in life but really need to begin envisioning those pictures of what I want and really need.  Where I want to go in life is sometimes only what it seems, my road takes a slight curve and leads me to a whole new journey to happiness that I need to open myself up to see.  A part of me wishes that our love will continue to burn warm and someday spark a strong flame once more but who am I to know.  

This is our time to grow, one day find someone to have and to hold.  From this day forward moving ahead, onward and upward, to a world we call our own, not together but on our own.